A Week of BATMAN Movies! Burton to Schumacher to Nolan….

This was a bit of an eye opening week of watching movies.  There were movies here that I remember fondly from childhood, but now see them as a terrible take on Batman.  I also thought Batman & Robin was utterly terrible the one time I saw it, so I approached with trepidation.  It couldn’t possibly be as bad as I remembered right?  Read on, to find out…

When I was growing up, I loved this movie.  It seemed so heroic to me, so fantastically whimsical, and a great example of good triumphing over evil.  It was released at a time when Superhero movies were laughed right out of Hollywood (that’s right kids, these times did exist!), and maybe that’s why I was so in love with it.Watching it now, in a post Nolan Bat Universe, as well as massive exposure to the comics from the last 80 years, it becomes very clear that this is not a very good movie.

This is probably the most apt poster I could find for this movie. It is clear that Tim Burton has no interest in Batman, but instead in the crazy, wacky villains.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Jack Nicholson in this movie.  His take on the Joker as a fun loving, crazy, calculating and great showman is great to watch.  Aside from the Gothic look of the movie, he is the only redeeming feature.

Now let’s move on to the bad points.

At no time in this movie is Batman heroic.  Think back to the start.  A young family gets robbed in an alleyway, an incident that happened to Bruce Wayne as a boy and shaped his destiny.  Batman stands and watches it happen from a rooftop.  He doesn’t intervene.  He doesn’t try to help or spare this family the terror of what happened to him.  He simply waits until 5 minutes later when the criminals are relaxing to introduce himself, and make sure they ‘tell all your friends about me’.

Batman prevents crime, he doesn’t react to it 5 minutes later.

Then we’re introduced to Vicki Vale.  Apparently a world class photographer, but she has no idea who Bruce Wayne is or what he looks like?  She even asks him at his party, does he know which of these guys is Bruce Wayne.  Bruce Wayne is not some social hermit.  He is one of the most recognisable people on the planet yet these reporters have no clue?

When Batman breaks into the museum to save Vicki Vale, he only does so after maybe 30 people have been killed.  This is despite the fact Alfred passes on a message to meet her and that she’s running late.  But he still can’t make it there in time.  He then runs away from the Joker and his gang, instead of confronting him and stopping him.

The list goes on and on.  This Batman is no crimefighter.  He also does’t seem to inspire loyalty from Alfred, as his ‘faithful’ butler lets Vicki Vale into the Batcave, therefore exposing Bruce, for no reason at all.

As I say the look of the film is still great, with Gotham looking like a Gothic slum, and Nicholson’s over the top performance is extremely enjoyable.  But this is not the Batman movie we deserve.  That wouldn’t come for another 16 years……

But if I thought this Burton movie wasn’t great, I had no idea what was in store with Batman Returns…….

4/10

This is a downright terrible movie.  Seriously.  When I watched this I was reminded of how bad Batman & Robin was, and in some ways, this is even worse.

Once again, looking at the poster, it’s clear that Burton is not interested in Batman.  Look at the title, Batman Returns.  Despite the title, Bruce Wayne / Batman is in the film once, that’s right ONCE, in the first 40 minutes.  Max Schreck has more screen time.  Penguin, Catwoman, hell even the circus performers are in this movie more than the titular character.

The sheer levels of implausibility and ridiculousness in this movie are unbelievable.  It starts with Oswald Cobblepot being flushed down to the sewers as a baby.  Apparently for no other reason than his hideous appearance.  From there, apparently Penguins can look after a newborn; feed him, clothe him, stop him from drowning etc.

Catwoman’s origin is just as bad.  Apparently you can fall forty stories and die, only to be resurrected by a couple of dirty alley cats nibbling at your fingers.  Not only that, but you apparently gain nine lives, are proficient in kung-fu (despite being a timid secretary before this) and are a master of wielding a whip.

These ‘origin’ stories are just plain lazy.  No respect given to (at this point) over 50 years of comics.

Then there’s the depiction of Batman.  He’s a d*ck to Commissioner Gordon.  This is something that is key in Batman’s world, his relationship with Gordon.  However, in Burton’s world there is no link or respect between the two at all.

When he steps in to stop the attack of the circus people (apparently he’s not switched on enough to know the city is under attack until someone lights the Bat-Signal), he sets one of them on fire with the Batmoblie, and this is before he attaches a ticking time bomb to one of the clowns, smiles at them and then kicks them down a manhole to their inevitable death.  Not killing is what defines Batman!  Yet this one is a psychopath.

Somehow Penguin is able to get schematics of the Batmobile (are they on record at the library or something?), Bruce Wayne falls in love at first sight, Penguin walks around in his underwear nibbling raw fish but apparently gets support to be Mayor?  It gets worse and worse.

This was truly unwatchable by the end, and I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again.

1/10

When I first had the idea of doing a Batman week, I have to admit that I didn’t think this would be the best Batman until the Nolan Trilogy.  However, that is exactly what happened.

Here was a story that was interested in both Bruce Wayne and Batman.  Here was a story were Batman didn’t kill; where he was a heroic symbol for the city rather than some freakshow.

The origins for the two villains are pretty spot on from the comics as well.  Two Face is shown as Harvey Dent, before Boss Maroni throws acid at his face, scarring him permanently.  Edward Nygma becomes Riddler because he’s jealous of Bruce Wayne, and wants to prove that he is the most intelligent man in Gotham.

I have to say Val Kilmer cuts a much better Bruce Wayne than Keaton.  Keaton was always great at the brooding, whereas Kilmer can play the international playboy side of Bruce, as well as the tormented and conflicted man still reeling from the death of his parents.

I wasn’t a big fan of Robin being added, especially because all this depiction of Dick Grayson seems to do is complain, and want to be a superhero to get girls.  He also calls Alfred ‘Al’, which gets old very quickly.  Plus Robin is supposed to be a boy, not a full grown man.

It is definitely a different take to Burton’s Gothic gloom.  This Gotham is all neon and colourful, but you do get the sense it is still riddled (terrible pun, I’m sorry) with crime.  It doesn’t always work and it does get a bit silly at times (Tommy Lee Jones is wwaaayyyy over the top as Two Face), but at least it stays true to the character of Batman.

It’s also the first movie that flirts with the idea of a shared universe.  Metropolis is mentioned.  Arkham Asylum is shown for the first time.  It directly addressed the fans with small tidbits like that and at least showed respect to the source material.

By no means an amazing movie, but a pretty entertaining one at least.

6/10

Yes.  It is every bit as bad as you’ve been told kids.

Bat Ice Skates.

Batman playing ice hockey with a diamond.

Bat Credit Card (valid until Forever).

George Clooney’s endless head bobbing.

Hi Freeze!  I’m Batman!

Surf’s Up!

Sing!!  Come on, come on!!  Sing!!

Special Guest Appearance!!  Batman and Robin!!

Bat Nipples!  Bat Ass Cheeks!  Bat Crotch!!

Can I get a car?  Chicks dig the car! (Pretty sure that bad joke was even in the previous movie yet its used again?)

This is why Superman works alone.

Endless Freeze!  Cooler!  Ice Age!  Jokes.

Bomb….bomb….bomb….bomb…

Kill the heroes!!

Bat Laser.

Worst motorcycle chase ever.

Alfred’s niece as Batgirl?

Uma Thurman in an even worse performance than The Avengers (not the Marvel one kids)

No.

Just, no.

0/10 (Maybe I should introduce negative marks?)

Watching this felt like my reward for the sh*t that preceded it.  I can’t tell you how welcome, and to be honest jarring a change in tone this movie was in comparison to the first four.

The origin of Batman treated with respect, and it delivers on every conceivable level.

This is now the template for Superhero origin movies.  And it’s made all the more interesting that you don’t actually see Bruce Wayne don the cape until after an hour into the movie.  This is where Nolan was smart.  He understood that for modern audiences to connect with the Batman mythos he had to go back to basics and make people understand what would drive a man like Bruce Wayne to become a masked vigilante.

This is superhero moviemaking with a straight face.  Gone are the over the top stunts.  Gone are the bright colours.  And gone are anyone who was even remotely attached to the absolute debacle that was Batman & Robin.  The fact that this was the follow up Batman movie to that travesty makes it even more of a miracle that it turned out to be as good as it did.

This movie is all about Batman / Bruce Wayne.  Even the villains chosen were not particularly well known to anyone who doesn’t follow the comics.  Ra’s Al Ghul and The Scarecrow may not have been household names before, but they certainly are now.

Christian Bale was apparently given the choice between being Batman and being James Bond.  And while I would have loved to have seen his version of 007, it’s now unthinkable to have anyone else in the black cape.

Essential viewing.

Sidenote, I love this fan poster.

10/10

As if Batman Begins wasn’t stunning enough, Christopher Nolan came along and completely outdone himself.  This is the absolute pinnacle of Superhero movies.  The first Superhero movie to be seriously considered for the top awards in Hollywood (even taking a posthumous award for Heath Ledger).  This movie appealed to everyone, and completely reinvigorated Batman into modern pop culture.

Ever since this movie, the comics have been treated far more seriously, and the character is more popular than ever.

The thing with The Dark Knight is that is kind of came out of nowhere.  Batman Begins was a modest success, but certainly nowhere near the level Warner Bros. was hoping for.

Nolan quietly assembled his cast (aside from the usual shitstorm that accompanies casting a character as iconic as the Joker.  ‘Gay Cowboy Joker!”Bring back Jack’), shot his movie around the world, and then started one of the most clever and unique advertising campaigns in movie history.

As Commissioner Gordon noted at the end of Batman Begins, Batman’s appearance in Gotham meant they may have to deal with escalation.  And escalation comes full force in the form of The Joker.  This is a character who pushes Bruce Wayne to his absolute limits.  A character who even criminals won’t give up to Batman because they know he’s crazy and doesn’t live by a code like Batman does.

It takes all of Batman’s, Gordon’s and newly introduced District Attorney Harvey Dent’s will, desire and smarts to even catch him once.  And even catching him comes at a cost.

This is the perfect middle movie in a trilogy.  It is a great standalone movie, but also slides effortlessly into the three movie arc that Nolan has created.

Just stop reading this review and go and watch it now.

Seriously.

10/10

While The Dark Knight was a massive surprise, in terms of just how good a movie it was, a lot of that can be attributed to anticipation.  As I say, people were looking forward to The Dark Knight, but nowhere near as much as people were looking forward to The Dark Knight Rises.This movie was so hotly anticipated it was unreal.  Every minute detail was under scrutiny from casting to costumes, to set photos.  It reached fever pitch just before release.  And it delivered.  Maybe not as emphatically as The Dark Knight, but make no mistake, this is epic movie-making, the likes of which we don’t see so much in Hollywood these days.

This movie deals with an older, retired Bruce Wayne.  Scarred from Rachel’s death, and also due to the fact that Gotham is largely crime free, he feels that Batman is no longer needed.  But then a new evil rises, in the form of Bane.  A former member of the League of Shadows, Bane is younger, fiercer and more determined that the blunted, out of sorts Bat.  He breaks him, and takes over his city, forcing Bruce to watch him as he does it, from an underground prison across the world.  But Bruce Wayne wouldn’t be the Batman if he gave up that easily.

Throw in Catwoman (the movies most pleasant surprise, I thought Anne Hathaway was excellent), links to the first movie and to Ra’s Al Ghul, Commissioner Gordon leading an underground resistance, a nuclear bomb ready to explode, the truth about Harvey Dent and Gotham being put under martial law, and you have one jam packed movie.  Luckily it’s all under the direction of Christopher Nolan, and he juggles it all brilliantly.

There are one or two small weaknesses, with Marion Coilltard’s character being a little underdeveloped, and also Alfred not being present for most of the movie.  But these are small details and pale in comparison to the awesomeness of the movie.

The opening set piece on the plane.  The cops chasing Batman through the streets.  Tom Hardy as Bane.  The Football Stadium attack.  The cops and the terrorists clashing on Wall Street, all actors no CGI.  Batman vs Bane in the sewers.  Batman vs Bane on the steps of the courthouse.  Batman saving the day and inspiring all those kids on the bus.  And then the ending…..

The ending is a little controversial and I won’t spoil it here.  But for me, it works.  This is a self contained movie trilogy and it needs to have a defined ending.  This is an ending that suits the world that Nolan has created.  Comics are a different form and a new adventure every month, so no ending will ever truly be in sight for Batman in that medium.  But for this interpretation, the ending is note perfect for me and is extremely satisfying.

9/10

And there we go.  Batman week is done.

Hope you enjoyed.  Am sure there will be a few dissenters to the Burton movies, but hey, that’s the subjective joy of the movies!

Until next time……